Bill's Ultimate Adventure!
by KoopaEater
Summary: This old man still has to adventure.    It's not over.
1. The beginning of the ADVENTURE!

Fear. For his life.

Happiness. His family was safe.

Sadness: He's going to have to leave him now...

These were the feelings that Bill felt as he slumped across the generator. "Last cigarette in the pack..." He said, taking it out and eating it. "You've made a big mistake, Tanks."

...It was a magical cigarette.

The 3 Tanks ROARED as they came in, the ground shaking, and pebbles flying into the air as they came for Bill.

Bill laughed loudly as he yelled, "HORSESHET!" at the tanks and they stumbled back. He stood up and held a card, showing a lady, up into the air.

"MOTHER OF MERCY! I SUMMON YOU!" he said as lightning struck in front of the tanks and there stood a majestic looking lady. Wearing a all white robe, she was truly beautiful. She looked at the Tanks, innocently.

Bill chuckled as he held another card. It was face down on his palm. "Wanna know what this card is?" A grin grew on his face as he showed the card. It was horseshet. "I equip the COAT OF HORSESHET ONTO MOTHER OF MERCY!" he yelled as she became horseshet.

Mother of Mercy laughed and attacked the Tanks. The pure smell of horseshet make them explode, with Mother of Mercy.

Now Bill was all alone. No Tanks. No Mother of Mercy. No survivors. "VIETNAM GODDAMMIT" he said as he jumped high into the air, broke the building, destroying the bridge as well (which caused the l4d2 survivors to die) and flipped into the air. "VIETNAAAAAAAM" he yelled as he teleported to the L4D1 survivors.

Zoey cried in joy as she saw Bill. "Where have you been?" she asked. "oh i dunno" replied Bill.

Then they all flew to Candy Mountain, where they feasted on candy for the rest of their days.

"I HATE CANDY" Francis said, then laughed, implying he was kidding and just wanted a line in this story.

"PUNK A$$ ISLAND B1TCH" Louis yelled as he destroyed the Florida Keys with his explosive pills.  
The end.


	2. The Battle For Candy Mountain

For 666 years, peace was at Candy Mountain. All the survivors got golden teeth from eating the candy, and the color blue is nice, isn't it?

But then trouble came.

The sound of feet galloping.

The coughing sounds.

The long tongues dragging across the ground.

The trouble was the unicorn riding Smokers.

-

The sky became black on a random Friday night, and the candy started weeping.

Francis knelt down to the weeping lollipops. "What's wrong, magically talking candy?" he said. The lollipops, choking on their gumdrop tears, replied, "They...are coming!"

Francis looked mad. "Jadusable continued the story, I already know!"

The lollipops shook their heads. "The unicorn riding Smokers are coming."

Louis, Bill, Zoey, and Francis gasped. Louis frowned. "We need to call troops!" he said.

2 hours later...

Optimus Prime, The Power Rangers, and Baby Jesus were summoned to help this situation.

Bill lined them up. "Okay troops, listen up. If we're going to win this we must-"

The Power Rangers were suddenly grabbed by a Smoker's tongue, and they were eaten by the unicorns.

Francis yelled something about hating.

"NOT THE POWER RANGERS" Louis shouted.

Optimus Prime tried arm wrestling a Smoker, but lost and flew away to Mars.

"NOT THE OPTIMUS PRIME" Louis shouted.

Baby Jesus pooted and returned to God.

"NOT THE BABY JESUS" Louis shouted.

Bill walked forward, the other 3 survivors following. "You know what this means." he cocked his rifle, that came from his beard. "We fight on our own."

Bill's beard could store anything. He actually has Benjamin Franklin in there. Benjamin frickin' Franklin.

The smokers coughed.

"I CAN TRANSLATE THEIR COUGHING!" Louis said. He thought for a second. "They said they want to kill us."

A certain sandvich loving Russian appeared. "NOT BIG SURPRISE." And disappeared.

The army of Unicorn riding smokers moved forward.  
The galloping of the unicorns feet left marks in the sugar filled ground as they charged for the survivors.

Louis made a move first. He threw pillz at the smokers, luring them to it. But a pipe bomb was actually inside, and therefore a few smokers died.

Zoey's knowledge of horror movies helped. They all had zombies riding unicorns. She took a giant stick and tripped some unicorns, which made them cry rainbow tears and fly away.

"Come here, you ballsack faces!" Francis exclaimed. The Smokers were insulted, because the giant ballsacks on their faces were a deformity. It wasn't their fault. So about half of them retreated. There were about 12 of the unicorn riding smokers left.

Bill laughed as his beard starting growing larger...and larger...AND LARGER. Soon it was so big, it was down to Bill's feet. Then the beard grew arms. And feet. "Ey, I'm alive!" The beard said, finally growing a mouth.

The unicorn-riding Smokers were so shocked. But they had one backup plan to fight even the strongest enemies. FUSION!

The remaining unicorns flew away, but created a circle of rainbows around the Smokers, causing them to form into the Smoker-bot! This thing is about as big as a building!

"BULL FRICKING HORSESHET!" Bill exclaimed. "This reminds me of Vietnam...we fought unicorns all day there. Then people became robots." He sighed, and his beard covered him and made Bill become...

**THE BILL BOT.**

Now it's gonna be a epic robot fight for you all to see.

The Smoker-bot landed some punches before Bill threw it 5 miles away. The Smoker-bot flew back and charged at Bill, but Bill kicked him in the face.

They fought for 2 minutes before Bill used his metallic beard to  
slice off the Smoker-bot's head.

"WE HAVE WON MY FRIENDS!" Bill said before returning to normal.

"So what do we do now?" Louis asks.

"Let's go to Chuckee Cheeses!" Zoey said.

And then they went to Chuckee Cheeses. The end.

Oh, and they found Snaarf there. He's now their pet. You'll see him when you read the next chapter.

UNTIL NEXT PART MY FRIENDS


	3. The L4D2 guys visit

Gabe Newell was walking around in his office. "Hmm...I've been waiting many generations to make another L4D2 DLC." He sat in his chair, and starting feasting on a jar of lard. "Mmmmphsogoodmmmph..." He chocked when he taught of something. "Holy crap! The L4D2 survivors died in that last DLC, "Bill Kills"! Well, better use sv_cheats to bring them back to life."

His fat covered the dead skeletons of the L4D2 survivors, and they magically came to life. "TETS AZZCLOWN WE'RE FRAKING ALIVE!" Nick exclaimed.

Coach grumbled something about chocolate. "I can sense chocolate somewhere far, far away."

Rochelle sighed. "Coach, we've traveled far enough. Plus, we are in a body of water, with broken bridge pieces as our only resort. We're going to-"

Ellis yelled, "I bet there's HORSES there. Let's go!"

And so they decided to ride Gabe Newell's fat to Candy Mountain.

-

The rocket of fat finally disintegrated into thin-air as they touched down on Candy Mountain.

Coach craved chocolate, and began drinking from the chocolate rivers.

Nick laughed, watching Coach nom the chocolate.

"Ahem." A voice growled from beyond. 4 figures were standing on a large rock.

"Who the hell are you?" Nick asked.

"Who the hell are YOU? Standing in our territory?"

Ellis squinted his eyes, and the figures came into view.

It was the L4D1 survivors.

ROCHELLE SCREAMED LOUDLY. "Them? And that old guy is with them! He killed us!"

Coach turned around. "Wha? Oh yeah. I remember."

Francis chuckled. "Hey, weird looking animal, catch!" He said, and threw a brick at Rochelle's face.

Nick ran to her. "Oh god...oh god..." He felt her pulse. She was dead. Nick wiped his forehead with his sleeve. "She's dead. Thanks guys!" he said, giving them a thumbs up.

Bill nodded. "No problem. Just don't eat anything on this side. We can give you a part of the land, if you're willing to stay."

Ellis grinned. "That WOULD be nice. Is there horses?" He asked.

Bill exclaimed, "There's Jimmy Gibbs breeded horses!"

Ellis gasped. "We GOTTA live here!" He happily said, jumping up and down.

Nick laughed. "I dunno..." he said, before starting to choke. "W-what the hell?" he said to himself.

Coach went up to Nick. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Nick pointed at Rochelle's dead body. "Her body...it's releasing poison..." he noted, before screaming and falling dead.

Coach held his breath, trying not to become infected by this Rochelle Gas. But it was too late, and he died.

Bill sighed. "Bull frickin' horseshet."

Ellis screamed, "It's the Rochelle virus!" before falling down, almost dead.

"I hate Rochelle." Francis said, angry at this. :C

"No...I must destroy the Rochelle..." Ellis said, close to death.

Louis said, "No Ellis. You are the Rochelle."

And then Ellis was a Rochelle.

Then Rochelle stood, and lived again.

And turned Nick, and Coach into Rochelles.

"Oh god, they are ALL Rochelles!" Zoey said.

Bill took out a battle card deck. "I'll handle this."

He took out a spell card and summoned it. "Horseshet, I summon you!" He said, and the horseshet appeared to fight the Rochelles. "And just to make sure I can hold them off, I add this POWER CARD!" He held up a POWER CARD in the air and equipped it to horseshet. "This card is named Bull Frickin. Now that I have equipped this to Horseshet, it is now BULL FRICKIN HORSESHET."

The bull frickin horseshet it much more powerful than the regular horseshet, and has a shet sword. It began to battle the Rochelles, and hold them off.

Francis whistled for a chocolate helicopter to come, and there it was! Flying from the abyss, it came to save the survivors.

"Get to the chopper!" Bill commanded the survivors. When they all were in, Bill threw a magical cigarette on Candy Mountain, and snapped his fingers.

As the choco-chopper flew away from the planet, Rochelle's still on, Bill counted to himself.

"5..."

"4..."

"3..."

"2..."

Bill smiled. "1."

Candy Mountain exploded, thanks to the explosive magical cigarette, and the Rochelle's were destroyed.

All the survivors had to do was find another place to live.

"Snaarf!" Their new pet, Snaarf said.

Louis pet him. "That's right. Snaarf is right."

WHICH WILL BE COVERED IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF "STORY TIME WITH KOOPA!"! STAY TUNED.


	4. In a new world

"Wow! Look at all the planets!" Louis said, looking out the windows of the chocolate helicopter.

"Sure is nice." Francis noted, quite relaxed on eating the chocolate copter.

"FRANCIS WHY ARE YOU EATING THE CHOCOLATE COPTER AUUUUUUUUGH" Bill yelled.

Francis did not realize the part he ate was the engine, and the chopper started falling.

"Ohmygod...ohmygod..." Zoey whispered to herself. "Francis...I want you to know that if we die...I hate smalltowns."

Francis laughed to himself, amused by Zoey's joke. "Me too...me HOLY SHET"

The chopper crashed with all the survivors inside.

The choco-chopper was broken and the survivors were not anywhere.

There was only a grey rock.

BUT that was Bill's magical amazing super awesome cool beard, with all 4 survivors inside! It protected them from the chocolate explosion.

As Bill's beard returned to normal size, leaving the survivors free to go, they noticed something unusual.

"Where's Snarf?" Louis panicked. He looked around and then saw him. "What are you doin' Snarf?" Louis asked.

Snarf was face to face with a wild Pokemom.

"YOU'RE GROUNDED" The Pokemom yelled.

Snarf took a basket (weaved by him) and trapped the Pokemom inside. He put a lid on it.

"That's a Pokemom caught, snarf, snarf" He exclaimed.

"THIS IS JUST LIKE POKESTRIKE" Louis said, surprised. "Where'd you learn that?"

"In Planet of Snarfs, there is always Pokemoms, snarf." He replied.

A figure stepped by and yelled, "I'M GONNA BE THE POKEMOM MASTER!"

Everyone gasped!


	5. Battle with Pokemoms!

The figure stepped out into view. "I challenge you to a battle!"

Francis gasped. "Is that...? **Ash Ketchup**?"

Louis looked angry. "It is."

"And I'm gonna be the best Pokemom tranny in the world!" He said, and ran at Snarf.

*BATTLE TRANSITION*

.com/watch?v=jbXOyXaJJBc is the music LISTEN TILL THE BATTLE ENDS I DID WHILE WRITING

Ash Ketchup has challenged Snarf to a Pokemom battle!

Ash sends out Pikamom!

Snarf sends out Charmom!

Pikamom uses PUNISHMENT.

It was not effective!

Charmom uses RANT.

Pikamom is stunned!

Pikamom cannot attack!

Charmom uses NAG!

2 damage Pikamom!

Bill face palmed himself. "This'll take forever!"

Ash noticed Bill walking over to him. "Step aside old man, I'm battl-" Ash's face exploded from a shotgun shell being unloaded onto his face. "There." Bill said.

Snarf, along with the 4 survivors did a victory dance! (I should make a vid of Bill doing it)

1337 awesome points were given to everyone!

Bill sat down on the plain's grass. "I don't know what this place is, but it's weird as hell." he said, lighting a cigarette over Ash's dead body.

Louis looked around. "I see a building!" he said, and begun running at it. "Wait, Louis.." Zoey said, following him. Then everyone else followed. "Hope this'll turn out well."

_..._

_ From a high tower, an amazingly pale man was watching from a tall tower. "New visitors...they should soon learn who their king is."_


	6. A bar with WAYNE BRADY!

The 4 survivors entered the mysterious building. It was a large bar, singing frogs included.

"I have a good feeling about this." Louis said, looking around. "It's like...a whole bar full of video game characters..." he thought to himself.

"Horseshet. It looks like most people here are drunk." Bill said, seeing a familar blue hedgehog walking up to him. "Like him." Bill noted, pointing at Sonic.

"O-oh heeeeey, man. Nice shirt, you know? Bet you got that for 50% off, amirite? AHAHAHA...achoo...yeah. I can get that thing 100% percent off? Eh? Eeeeh?" Bill pushed him off. "Shut up." he said coldly.

Bill is not used to drunk blue animals coming on to him. But me, the writer is. I actually am the one who comes on to them.

Then they saw a magical man singing on a stage inside the bar. He was of a dark skin tone, and threw magical sparkles on the audience.

He sung to them. "_I love the Village People, now please don't get me wrong. I love YMCA, hey girl, that's my song! But you see in San Francisco is where they belong. And all them Village People inspired me to wear my thong._"

The survivors gasped. "It's Wayne Brady! One of the most amazing things on this planet." Zoey happily noted.

"Yeah, if there's one thing I don't hate, it's Wayne frickin' Brady." Francis said, sitting at the bar and drinking.

As he came down the stage, he signed people's autographs, he noticed the survivors. "Oh, I've never seen you before. And I remember everyone I see. How are yall?" he asked them.

Bill thought. "Uherm...we're okay for now. But we kinda want to know what this place is."

Brady laughed the laugh of heroes. "Oh, this planet? It's the Inventory! All the video game characters live here. This bar is also named the Inventory. All the video game characters chill here." He paused for a second. Brady whispered, "Don't go in the poker room. A Russian, a bunny, some weird wrestler guy, and some normal guy is in there playing. They hate being disturbed."

Bill nodded. "And so is there a king or ruler?"

Brady sighed. "I wish there wasn't. My evil twin, Bayne Wrady is the king of this place. He always ruins the most hardcore parties. And he's so white he BLINDS people."

The survivors looked sad.

"Don't worry, me and my friends here, combined with the help of you can stop him, right?" Bill asked.

Brady shrugged. "Maybe. But he's got some tricks up his sleeve, to even disable magic. And the unicorns begin crying."

Brady stood up to beat a Tank in a arm-wrestle challenge (which only took 1.2 seconds) and sat back down. "I say we do it." He held his hand out to the survivors.

"We're in!" they all said, placing their hand in Wayne's.

"Then let's do this." He said, and they all went out of the bar.

**Meanwhile...**

_On a large candycane, Bayne Wrady was talking to a black girl._

"So, you've been stuck here with this homobot?" Bayne Wrady asked the girl.

"Ugh, yeah, he's been hitting on me thinking I'm a guy." the girl said.

"Boy, remember, my name's Gavin." the robot responded.

"But you have potential, girl. You have such evil powers...to destroy a planet using a virus and live on a giant candycane is quite a challenge. Come." he said.

And he took the girl, the homosexual robot named Gavin, and himself to head to the Inventory planet to finally keep control of the annoying game characters.

The girl was Rochelle. 

Be prepared...


	7. Louis has a BABY?

They crossed trees, and trees. And...trees. "This is a long field." Louis complained.

"I hate fields." Francis said.

Wayne Brady shrugged. "Then let's take a break. I'll summon a McDonalds!"

"LET THERE BE MCDONALDS" Wayne Brady shouted.

And it fell out of the sky right infront of the survivors.

Everyone went inside, and they ordered burgers. And they ate. "YUM THIS IS SOME GOOD STUFF NOM" Zoey said.

"Yeah, it's good, and doesn't taste like horseshet." Bill said.

Louis fell down, screaming in pain. "AUGHHHHH" He exclaimed.

Francis kneeled down. "Shut up, can't even eat my burger."

Wayne Brady went up to Louis. "I can sense a power level coming from inside of you. And it's strong. Push, Louis! PUSH!"

Louis screamed as his stomach exploded and a skeleton pooped out.

"NO NOT THE SKELETON" Louis screamed, and threw it. Then another thing popped out of his stomach. It laughed evilly as it flew out of his stomach, wings flapping. "I'm the Angel of Death." it said blankly. Allowing it's self to go into view, they noticed that he was a black angel with spiked wings, and a cyborg cannon attached to his shoulder.

"I'll see you...in hell. Or in the next few parts, I'mma go work for the king here, k? kthxbye" The Angel of Death said, and teleported away in a tornado of flames.

Wayne Brady announced, "Everyone's done eating, we gotta hurry. Who knows what that baby can do. After all...it's my baby."

The survivors gasped!

NEXT CHAPTER: HOW LOUIS GOT PREGNANT AND MAYBE AN ACTION SCENE, WHILE BUDDY THE HUNTER EATS SOAP


	8. Rochelle RETURNS!

Wayne Brady closed his eyes, thinking of a flashback. "It all started just while we starting walking. I looked at Louis, and he looked me."

...

"My beautiful manliness spread onto him in that moment, and he became pregnant." He paused. "Now we have to stop that evil child."

Bill looked confused. "Horseshet. How can a MAN be pregnant?" he asked.

Wayne stared. "NO TIME FOR THAT BATTLE BEARD WE GOTTA GO" he said, and they all ran.

Francis stopped, gagging. "Ugh! Something...is so ugly...I can smell it. So horrible...worse than poop."

Bill nodded. "Smells like Vietnam."

The horrible smell teleported in front of the survivors. "Remember me?" Rochelle said.

Zoey coughed. "It's you, you ugly beast!"

"BLARG" Rochelle roared.

Bill took out a rifle. "I can cure your ugliness. First," he shot at Rochelle's face repeatably.

"You need bullets. And if that doesn't work..." He took a chainsaw from his beard. You can cut it down." he said, knocking Rochelle on the ground and killing her with a chainsaw to the chest.

"GAME OVER." Louis said. "I had a good feeling about that! I love the color blue!"

As they went forward, happy that Rochelle died, they found a staircase to a floating castle in the sky. It was covered by dark clouds, but it was in view.

Wayne Brady stepped on the first stair. "Time to give the king a surprise." he said.

And they stepped, moving ever closer to the castle.

But the king, Bayne Wrady, was ready.

Ready.

For.

Battle.

Meanwhile...

A hunter was nomming soap. "Very good soap...hmmmm..." His name was Buddy.

This was only a cameo appearance.


End file.
